Hey Rise Family!! Your Sis is back and is all the way OFFICIAL now okay?! Yyyyaaassss, so yesterday was my 33rd birthday. I must say it was the best birthday I have had in a very long time! It was just a peaceful day. I didn’t go out or anything. I stayed home and just tended to ME. God told me “This is your day, just take your time. Enjoy yourself and relax!” That is exactly what I did too. God gave me a vision back in September 2021 and He showed me my true purpose. Finally, I have a purpose! I had been questioning God for years and asking Him what am I here on earth for. I just knew it was not my destiny to forever be a drug-addicted criminal! I, at times would just be so frustrated and angry with life because for my entire adult life that was all it gave me. Life was hell and all I seemed to have was hell in me. Let me explain something to you, whenever God says it’s time for you to come out of your “hell season” that’s exactly what will happen. No matter what’s going on and no matter how much you just don’t see any possible way of your circumstances changing, I am a true living witness that when He says ” it’s over” IT’S OVER! So listen and understand that when I say what you are going through will NOT last forever that’s exactly what I mean! So, I had been working on the vision I was given back in September all the way until now. My birthday present from God was the finished project and I went LIVE and showed it to the entire world!! I launched my website Again We Rise. Now, let me back up a little and explain what made my birthday so special. See for the longest time, I had NO love for myself. I tried to find love and happiness in people. Especially men. When someone who says they “love” you hurt you over and over again, you start to lose hope in ever finding true love. As a matter of fact, I know a couple of people personally who have allowed the “love” that they were getting from others to destroy them. They allowed that “love” to make them bitter and angry because they thought that was the best it was gonna get. They gave up the fight and hope and just accepted that what they got was all they would ever have. For me, when my ex-husband first left me, as hurt as I was I prayed and ask God to not allow what my ex-husband did to me not make me bitter. I told God that I still wanted to LOVE, right?! I didn’t want to believe that that was the best life had for me. Don’t get me wrong, I still went through all the hurt and pain that came along with losing a relationship but God didn’t allow my heart to turn cold. As long as you have just the smallest bit of hope, you will be alright. What I had to find out was that I had to start with ME LOVING ME before I could think of allowing somebody else to “love” me. Are you following me? Ok, I did unfortunately have to go through the whole process of losing and finding myself. When my ex-husband left me, I lost every bit of ME! I was mad at him for how he did me and I got to a point where I said ” F life” and that’s just how I began to live it. See I knew to ask God to protect my heart at the very BEGINNING because I knew what I was about to go through was about to be hard and painful as hell. I did not care what I did, how I did it or to whom I did it to! You couldn’t even breathe wrong my way because I was going to come at you, full force baby. I was given the street name of Taz. As for the Tasmanian devil y’all. Ok, that’s how real it got for me. I always acted on however or whatever I was feeling at the time. Since I had no love for myself I also didn’t have respect for myself. I won’t sit here and act like I didn’t have any fun while living in my hell season alright. Yyyaaassss all the men in that town wanted SHAYE ok!! I loved the attention and they knew it! You could not come half-stepping when trying to come at me. If your money wasn’t right baby you were just wasting precious breath even talking to me. I only hung around old men. I have never been the type to be with my age group! They were too slow for me. If you didn’t draw social security or have one foot in the grave, I had nothing for you! Since I am a Veteran I had easy access to all the places Veterans frequented. One popular spot in town was the VFW. Baby, there was something going on almost every night. I kicked it with the best the town had! I shot dice with the highest rollers and got everything I wanted. Let me bring you back down a minute, I wasn’t living in Viva Las Vegas ok, this was ALL HOOD EVERYTHING!! At that time because I had not learned how to love me. I thought all that stuff was making me happy and for years, it was. That was until it all started to become routine. It was literally same-ish, different day. I was always bored and constantly searching for the next thrill. And that of course led to me being in trouble a lot. I had been arrested 17 times and it got to the point where the Judge and I was on a first name basis and that family……is another story for another day! Here is my point, it was not until God removed me from my hell season that I was able to slow ALL the way down. Since I have moved back home to Birmingham, I have been able to see life in a whole different way. Just like I had learned how to do the things I did while in my hell season, I’m having to start over and learn how to live in my Favor & Life season. I am a baby in this new life and I promise you baby I am all the way cool with it. See right at this moment I’m learning how to LOVE ME!! God has shown me what LOVE really means by the things He has been doing for me. I then take up those same ways and apply them and I could not be any happier than I am right now. I have a long way to go but at least in this walk I have Peace and that peace allows me to GROW through situations. I took all day yesterday pampering myself. I did my hair and make-up and got all dressed up not to go anywhere. I did it because it made me happy and at the end of that day when I was done with everything, God showed me just how much He loved me by letting me display my beauty AND reveal to the world my purpose……which now everyone is able to be apart of!! Don’t give up because you are in your hell season right now. You have to go through it in order to become the refined pure gold jewel that God wants you to be. I LOVE you Rise Family……..we will talk again soon.
Ready for a new walk
February 16, 2022