Great beautiful morning Rise family! I do hope all is well with you and yours. Especially since it has been a while since we last spoke. Before I began allow me to inform you now, THIS blog post is about to come straight from my heart.  Alright… So, as I was saying it has been a while since I posted anything. I stepped away for a minute for a few reasons…. 1. I am not a hypocrite. 2. I allowed social media to run my life and 3. I stopped believing what God told me. Let me explain what I mean. There was absolutely NO way I was going to be producing content that was SAYING one thing but I was LIVING another!  As I have said in the past, God gave me this platform as a way to bring people to His kingdom. I DON’T play with God! Even in my wrongdoing, I fear Him and this assignment is TOO IMPORTANT! Something that I will NEVER take lightly and/or for granted. These are people’s lives and souls that are hanging in the balance and God trusted me enough to give me this assignment. Matthew 10:16 “Stay alert. This is hazardous work I’m assigning you. You’re going to be like sheep running through a wolf pack, so don’t call attention to yourselves. Be as cunning as a snake, inoffensive as a dove.” So with all of that being said, I will continue to be transparent with all that I do and say. Things are getting worse by the day. Time is getting shorter and it’s time out for all the playtime! I’m not afraid of anything or anyone who tries to affect my ministry in a negative way. There are a lot of things that I am going to say that some may think are wrong or bad. Unfortunately, they are just true statements about me and my life. Some may even find me “lacking a filter” and that’s absolutely fine with me. All that means is that I’m not for you! I can’t sit here and be cute and try to people please by being fake and saying and or doing what others THINK I should. Wow, just thinking about that makes my head hurt! I feel sad for those subjecting themselves to the misery of living a lie!  That has to be exhausting on ALL levels. To avoid all that extra unnecessary drama you HAVE TO BE REAL….at LEAST with yourself! You know what, honestly, I can come up with a few other things I could possibly be doing OTHER than telling my business to the whole world. This is not all that easy for me….It would most definitely be less embarrassing, to say the least, I tell you that! GOD IS THE ONLY PERSON I would do something like this for!! LOL!! I don’t know who all this is for but those whom it is, just know that you will always have a Sister right here standing firm with you through it all. I am going to continue to let you all in on the FACTS and REALITY of my life because THIS THING CALLED LIFE, AIN’T EASY AND BREEZY!! It’s hard, it’s messy, it’s sad and filled with all kinds of demonic strongholds that will always be there to try and keep you within its grasp… But, throughout all of that there IS still hope, faith and a way to endure and conquer it all! GOD. I stated that I allowed social media to run my life. When you put yourself out there as this person who has arrived and made it, you don’t want to deviate from that. Especially once you start getting noticed and followed for the very thing you put yourself out there for! I could have done as many folks do, carry on as if everything is perfect and all wonderful and great and I don’t have any problems anymore and all is just well with the world! So, as I said instead of me carrying on and acting like I still had everything together, I stepped away from my assignment. The longer I stayed away the more I got into my own head about all of this. I lost my self-confidence and stopped believing what God had BEEN telling me. Truth be told, I thought I was delivered from drugs forever. I thought that struggle and that part of my life was OVER. But as time went on I found out that those same old thoughts were STILL WITH ME. I asked God “why did you have me do all of this and put myself out there like that if you knew I was still going to end up doing the same old thing?!” Do you know what He said? He said ” Matthew 10:34 “Don’t think I’ve come to make life cozy. I’ve come to cut! ” “Just because you have started living for Me does NOT mean that all of your fleshly desires will just disappear. That’s what I mean by picking up your cross. You still have a lot of life left and with that will also come the trials and tribulations BUT NOW, I AM IN THIS WITH YOU! This part of your life is all about learning My ways and truly walking with me. This will build your faith and your spiritual strength. And as I teach you… I will test you… Then I will trust you. While you are living all of this you will share this and teach this. Don’t worry….remember those 3 things I told you at the very beginning 1. Everybody don’t need to know, just show. 2. Remember WHOSE you are. 3. Let’s do this because we got this! ” BAE-BAY now that’s what you call a reality check! I was like dang Father at the beginning, it was all peaches and roses! You know how folks act when they first get saved or back into a relationship with God… Hahaha!! I was like “bless you child!” “may His peace be with you!” and EVERY conversation I’m gonna find a way to bring God in it! Hey, I got an A for effort! Naw, but for real what I had come to realize is that I was EXACTLY where I was supposed to be. As I have stated before, THIS IS A PROCESS. We have this saying in the Army “hurry up and wait.” It took me 33 years to get to where I am now. I have learned a whole lot of bad things in those years. I’ve picked up a lot of bad habits in those years. God CLEARLY let me know that He is not my magic genie! It’s going to take time to shed all those ungodly layers. And you know what? I’m cool with it all. There is nothing greater than being able to have God’s spirit of peace on you while going through things yall! As I sit back and write this I keep pausing and my thoughts are just shifting back and forth over everything I have been through and all I can do is just laugh because if you all stick around you too will see that my life NEVER cease to amaze! There is never a dull moment. God had to have His hand over me because there was no other way I could have endured and made it to this point where I’m able to even talk about it all. And please believe when I say, there is a lot to talk about. I was speaking with one of my mentors a while back and I told her “there is not one thing that you can name that I have NOT been through!” I have been through some of the same situations that I have lost people to and one recently as a matter of fact. I will talk about that on my next blog post. I love you all so much! We will talk again soon. ~Shaye~