For your glory Jesus…..more of you and less of me

Hey Rise family, I hope all is well with you and yours! I will jump straight into it today because I feel that now is as good a time as any to fill you all in on what has been going on in my life. If you read the last blog post that I published in August, I kind of gave you all a hint. I wanted to share then what I had done. The problem was that God told me to give myself time to process it all before I shared it, so that’s what I did. On July 27th my day started off just as any morning would for my boys and me. Jase came into my room around 5 am and quietly got in the bed with me. That baby is so smart to only be 5! Whenever he turned the tv on he would hurry up and press the mute button on the remote so that he wouldn’t disturb me, Then he would press the volume down button to have the sound be where he could hear it but not be loud enough to wake me up. He is a very thoughtful little boy. He also has a whole other side to him! The side that shows he was conceived during the peak of my hell-raising days! LOL. His brother Ja’viean would usually wake up an hour or so later. He is the definition of loving! He was 3 years old at the time. They are very close. Jase once told me that Ja’Viean was his baby and when I tell you our whole story, you will see that he pretty much was speaking the truth! When Ja’Viean would wake up, he would come into my room and tell Jase good morning and ask him to cut on the tv in the living room. They would give me about another good hour of sleep before they started getting rowdy. They would have a blast playing with each other. I knew I had to get up and give Jase his ADHD medicine before he got too rowdy because if I didn’t and gave it to him at a later time, it’s like the medication wouldn’t work for him and he would be extra hyper and wild all day. I caught on early to that and that was the first thing I would do when I got up in the mornings. This girl who I had only had dealings with for a very short period of time had texted me and informed me that she had some “fet.” I responded back and told her that I would be there in about an hour. I had to feed my boys and throw us on some clothes and ask my neighbor if she would take me because I still didn’t have a car. When I got there, I noticed that ever since her boyfriend who was actually my real plug had been locked up, things at the house were getting worse and worse. You can tell she was trying to keep up what he was doing, but she just wasn’t him. They had 5 little pitbull puppies that were fat and cute. This time that I went over there it had been going on a month since ole’ boy had been locked up and it was taking a toll on her. When I first walked up on the porch it was filled with dog poop. That was from the “guard or alert dog” that was tied to the guardrail and she had the puppies each in their own little cage and they were starving! The sight of those puppies broke my heart. When I finally got in the house, she had a house full of folks. Something else that would not have happened had her boyfriend been home. She pointed to this little young guy who was sitting on the couch and she said to me “that’s my folks right there and he the one who has it. I sat down by him and chopped it up with him to try and get a feel as to whom I was dealing with. I was already getting a “shady” vibe from him, but I was like let me hurry up and get my stuff and go because it felt like the police would be there at any moment to raid that house. I only got $10 worth because I wasn’t going to spend big money with someone who I barely knew because I am the type of person who will bring you your stuff back and want a full refund if it ain’t right! We got back home and my boys did as they always did when we got home. They would strip down to their underwear, grab their cover and go jump to their spots on the couch, get settled in and turn on their cartoons. At that time I had my mama’s dogs staying with us too. They are from the same litter. They are 9-year-old chocolate Cocker Spaniels named Deucey and Master P. I had them because I missed my service dog named Grace so badly. I had to leave her back in Oklahoma with Jase and Ja’Vieans dad because she was too big to fly. The plan was for me to go back and get her as soon as I got a car but that’s another story for another day. Deucey and Master P kept the boys entertained and were therapy for me. My Mom works a lot and the dogs are at home alone a lot, so it just all worked out perfectly for all of us. Anyway, once I got everyone settled, I asked the boys did they want me to make them smoothies and of course, the answer was “yes.” I told them to give me a few minutes to use the restroom and put on my nightclothes and I would get to the smoothies! I had a huge 2 bedroom and 2 bathroom apartment right by the Galleria. I was paying $1,433.00 a month. We lived in a “well-off” part of the city. My Grandmother lived in the same apartment complex. She had already been living there for the better of 6 years and she helped me get my apartment by co-signing for me. I was more than grateful for her doing that for me. Even though I had the income, due to a lot of payday loans that I got while being on drugs my credit score was beyond low! I went into my bathroom and took my package out quickly because I swear them babies had a 6th sense or something because the ONLY time they would bother me in the bathroom is when I was up to no good. To be completely honest the drugs did look a bit different from what I had gotten before, but because I was already anticipating being high, I went against my better judgment and chopped it up to the fact that different dealers have different cookers. This in fact is true, but at that particular time I was looking for ANY reason to justify my going against my first mind. Using my I.D. I was able to break the chunk down to powder form. Hey Rise family I know you are all getting into this blog today but this is a LONG story and I have to keep y’all wanting more! So tune in next Wedensday as I come with pt. 2 in “Why They Left.” I promise you won’t be disappointed. Do me a favor and tell someone about this blog and as you start to share life you will be blessed because this is ALL for the glory of God! I love you…… talk to you soon!!